Chasing Dreams

Friday, 26 July 2019  |  Bullish Insights

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” (Mark Twain)

I’m a Dreamer. Always has been, always will be. I know no other way to live but to constantly strive towards achieving, learning, and growing as much as I can. I’ve always felt the need to make sure that I’m living this one life I have the best way I can… even if that meant I had to say good bye to some things to make way for the new.

Looking back, I’ve always been comfortable with reinvention. I went from being a sedentary 30-year-old mom to a marathon maniac in her 40s lol. I was a research analyst turned marketer turned freelance graphic designer who fell into blogging and, in the last few years, went full circle by finding my way back to my roots in corporate marketing. As The Bull Runner, I went through an evolution of sorts too adding magazine editor and race organizer under my job title. Last but not the least, in my personal life, I’m now a single mom and happily co-raising my two children with my ex-husband. I used to be scared of being alone, but now I relish it. In the past five years, I’ve found strength and happiness in my own independence and solitude.

Some people fear change. I embrace it.

Now, it’s time for more change as I chase after a big dream. A dream I’ve had for myself since my 20’s, but I chose to prioritize other people or maybe life simply got in the way. A dream so big that I actually do cartwheels in my head with excitement, but at the same time I also want to pee in my pants due to stress lol.

For the past months, I’ve asked myself over and over: Am I doing the right thing? Why am I making my life even more difficult? Will I be strong enough to do this all on my own? Am I going nuts? So many questions. None of which I can answer if I don’t take this giant leap. So, here I am. Jumping. All in.

By next month, with my two teens in tow, I’m leaving Manila to take up my Masters in Digital Media at Centre for Digital Media in Vancouver. It’s a 16-month program that I feel was made for me. I’m so excited to be a student again! The bonus? I’ll be in a beautiful city where I look forward to running and biking to my heart’s content. (Hello Seawheeze Half Marathon and GranFondo Whistler!)

But, at the same time, my heart breaks for all that I’m temporarily leaving behind. Aside from family, friends, and the running community, there is TBR: my TBR babies, our TBR friends, and most especially the incoming batch of TBR Sun Life Dream 2020. While I feel separation anxiety as I write this, I also trust that my team will take good care of all of you, Dreamers. (TBR Dream Team has known about my plans since last year so we’ve actually been preparing for this!) Among other things, we plugged in a 6th Bull Session into the program, I added IG Live sessions with myself and our coaches, I will try my best to do more IG Live to hear your achievements or address your concerns (I’ll try to overcome my vlogger shyness too. Gulp), and last but not the least, I’ll be home in December for a Bull Session and February on race day so it’s like I won’t even be gone! You won’t even miss me! Wait, I hope you miss me even juuust a little bit.

If there’s anything I want to leave with you for now, it’s to remind you that whether in running or in life, always welcome change in your life.  In fact, if things become too easy or dull, seek change in you or around you.  Always ask yourself if you can do more, work harder, or be better than who you were yesterday.  Listen, you don’t have to move countries like craycray me is doing lol.  It could be something as simple as changing your hairstyle, or signing up for a marathon, starting a new business, or finally asking that cute runner out.  If there is anything to be afraid of, it would be living a mediocre or stagnant life.  So, please, chase after dreams that scare the crap out of you, and when you achieve that, go and look for another one. Don’t ever stop. Grab life by the horns and live it to the fullest. Take it from this 43-year-old Tita who’s going back to school eager to hang out with her millennial classmates lol.

No goodbye, Dreamers.  Just see you again soon! Mwah!