Category Archives: Bullish Insights

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.”
– Bob Moawad

Oh what a journey it has been, 2015! This year was about independence, achievement, strength, and empowerment for me. Such strong words, you say?! After surviving life’s toughest challenges in the past years, 2015 was about pushing forward, rediscovering myself, and learning that, at the end of the day, I’m pretty darned happy with where I am and who I’ve become.

Here’s my best of 2015: (more…)

Confession: I have a love/hate relationship with marathon training.

I always say that my favorite part of the marathon is the journey leading up to the race.  The actual marathon is just a bonus.

There’s something about the gradual progression from weak legs at 10k to feeling stronger at 32k weeks before the race. I especially like how you train your own mind: one begins feeling like 10k is forever and, in a few months, the same distance is just a warm up for an easy 25k. If you train with friends, then the experience is even more enjoyable as you embark on this crazy new adventure together, suffering and laughing along the way.

Having said that, with every marathon training period, I can’t escape the dread of running that longest run, the 32k 3 weeks before the race. Even in the early weeks of training, it looms over you like a rain cloud; you know it’s coming and you do your darndest best to prepare, but one can never be fully ready for such torment.

Last Sunday, I ran my 32k. And, for the first time ever, I had to run it alone. I had never realized, until the night before the run, that in all the years of running and after 13 marathons, I had never really gone on this road alone. I always ran the 32k with friends to make the long hours—and the sore feet—more bearable. As I packed my gym bag and prepared my gels for the run, I was filled with anxiety. Would I have the discipline to finish 32k without quitting when it got hot, exhausting, or just plain boring?

That morning, as I was about to start, I bumped into friends who coincidentally were training for Osaka Marathon too. I ran the first hour with them. (Thanks Michelle, Bambi, Hannah and Pat!) Then, I headed to Filinvest City where I met Jay and later on, Ardie, who were both also training for Osaka. Time flew by so fast in that first 23k. For the last 9k, I was all by my lonesome.

I won’t lie. It was tough. All the mircropore tape I had put on my toes to prevent blisters had slipped out and rested comfortably between the tips of my toes and my socks.  It was like running with pebbles in your shoes. My socks and insoles were soaked with sweat. I wanted to change my top but didn’t want to stop and sit in the car for fear of cramps. Worst of all, I was hungry!  All these little nuances started tapping at my shoulder the way little kids make you kulit when they desperately want your attention.

People may tell you that they listen to the birds chirping, smell the fresh air around them, and think happy thoughts when they’re out on these long runs. Sure, sometimes, you feel complete bliss when you’re out there on the road. But, when you’re down to the last few kilometres of a 30k plus run, all you hear is that voice in your head saying: What if I quit now? No one will ever know.

I did my best to silence all those nasty thoughts in my head.  I stopped allowing minor things to bother me and looked at the bigger picture: I was so close to reaching the end of my goal!  I calmed my mind and focused on putting one foot in front of the other.  30… 30.5… 31… then I did it.  I finished my 32k and boy was I proud of myself!

What did I learn in that long 32k run and those solo last few kilometres until the end?  Just three important life lessons really:  1) Things aren’t always as bad as they seem, 2) Quitting, even when no one else is looking, is just another way of selling yourself short, and 3) You have to enjoy being with the person you’re with the most, yourself.

I always thought of myself as a morning person.  There’s something about getting up before the rest of the world awakes.  I like the stillness, the silence, the calm before reality begins.  I especially love morning runs, getting up before the break of dawn and witnessing the sun rise from the road.  Running in the morning sets up my entire day.  It allows me to be more focused, gives me more energy, and compels me to eat well (because sayang naman ang workout!) (more…)

– After my rainy run last Friday –

One of my favorite quotes from my high school days is this: “After the storm, comes a rainbow.” I jotted this down in my journal and would derive strength from it when faced with my seemingly catastrophic teenage problems.

Now, as an adult, and after having survived much bigger typhoons (or more like super typhoons) in life, I know this to be true: The rainbow doesn’t always appear. The rain does stop eventually, but don’t be fooled by the promise of a rainbow. Either it never really shows up or one just gets too busy with the realities of life to even spot it. (more…)

I’ve been running for 9 years now. When I see twenty-somethings all giddy over their first 5k, I feel all sentimental about how I started running. But, at the same time, I can’t help but feel…shall I say it…old. Gaah. (more…)